### Therapy Session with Stefanie Stahl In the therapy session with psychologist Stefanie Stahl, Mia and Max are guests, who have been in a relationship for 17 years. Their central problem: Max has been unfaithful time and again over all those years and has had affairs. Although Mia has tried to end the relationship several times, they have always found each other again – also because the shared phases were very good. In the conversation, Stahl works out that Max suffers from a "binding trauma". His behavior follows a pattern: in moments of closeness with Mia, he seeks intense security, but as soon as they are physically separated, his "autonomy system" kicks in and he feels "like a single person". Max explains: "That's actually the complete loss of control. [...] So that's something I need like air to breathe, something like this physical closeness." The therapist attributes this to his emotionally distant childhood: "I have actually discussed all decisions with myself," Max reports. Stahl explains to Mia: "From this perspective, it's a good idea or a good indication or tool for me to get into it." She recommends exercises to him to train his ability to bond and to recognize the affairs as a destructive protective mechanism. Mia, on the other hand, describes the injuries she has suffered through Max's behavior and how hard it is for her, especially the lies: "Being lied to is so bad for me. The lie and the betrayal, that's what's so hard for me to bear." ## Classification The therapy session offers deep insights into the dynamics of a long-standing, but dysfunctional relationship. Stahl skillfully works out the psychological pattern behind Max's infidelity and provides concrete recommendations for action. Notable is her balanced balance between explanatory approaches (binding trauma) and taking responsibility. Critically, Mia's co-dependency is only touched upon. The question of why she stays in the relationship despite years of injuries should have been considered more deeply. Stahl briefly mentions Mia's "illusion of control" through self-blame, but does not delve deeper into this important aspect. The therapy session offers valuable insights for people who experience similar relationship patterns, but should not be understood as a complete solution for complex bonding problems.