# Key Points At "Stahl aber herzlich", psychotherapist Stefanie Stahl supports guest Marc in an acute personal crisis. Marc, after eight years of relationship and seven months of paternal happiness, discovered through a paternity test that he is not the biological father of his beloved daughter Sophie. His partner had a multi-year affair with a colleague. ### 1. Marc's Traumatic Betrayal and Psychological Consequences Marc describes his feeling as a "free fall" and a state without a sense of grounding. Stefanie Stahl categorizes this as a traumatic reaction with dissociative symptoms. "That means, you split yourself off a bit from your normal experience. And one phenomenon is the so-called depersonalization. [...] So you don't have a real sense of grounding anymore, and you don't have the feeling of really being yourself." ### 2. Conflict over the Father Role despite Lack of Biological Connection Despite the discovery that he is not the biological father, Marc wants to continue being there for Sophie: "I would love to be her father. I want her to call me Papa." However, this is in conflict with the mother, who threatens to restrict access: "If you're not nice to me, then I'll take her away from you completely." ### 3. Pursuit of Harmony as a Possible Relationship Factor Both partners had, according to the analysis, a pronounced pursuit of harmony, which prevented constructive conflict resolution. "People who are very concerned with harmony are often also a bit too good-natured. Because if they weren't good-natured, they would have to admit things that could disturb the harmony." ### 4. Strategies for Overcoming the Crisis Stahl offers Marc three concrete approaches to crisis management: developing self-compassion, focusing on existing resources, and reflecting on one's own contributions. "Could you perhaps visualize for your inner eye how many percent of the cake is currently not enjoyable, as far as your life is concerned?" Marc recognizes: "I see right now that more than half of it is enjoyable." ## Breakdown The podcast deals with an emotionally profound personal trauma and its psychological effects in an authentic, therapeutically sound way. Stefanie Stahl combines empathetic conversation with concrete psychological concepts and practical coping strategies. What is striking is the balance between therapeutic support and critical reflection: While Marc is empathetically accompanied in his crisis, his own behaviors, such as his pursuit of harmony, are also questioned. The therapeutic approach corresponds to modern psychological approaches with a focus on resource orientation and self-compassion. It is remarkable how systematically Stahl analyzes and structures Marc's situation – from the trauma diagnosis to concrete steps. The dialogue avoids blame, without obscuring responsibilities. The complex family law dimension of the case is addressed, but not overemphasized. The podcast offers a rare insight into the psychological coping with a specific crisis situation, which many affected people otherwise experience in secret. As a publicly accessible therapeutic session, it fulfills both an educational and a supportive function for listeners in similar situations.